“Call 1912 for only electric problems”
"Hello, Calcutta Electric Supply?"
"Hello."
"I'm calling from Ballygunge Place and I have an emergency."
"Madam, we are all in a state of emergency. Modern urban life is like that. But how can I help you?"
"Like, I said, I have an emergency."
"Is it related to your electric supply?"
"Yes. That's why I'm calling you."
"You'd be surprised how many people call 1912 when they mean to call 1412."
"What is 1412?"
"Indian Airlines."
"Ok, I don't need Indian Airlines. I have an electrical emergency."
"Then you've called the right number."
"Please listen. The wire in my meter box has been burnt. I have no electricity, there's smoke and the smell of something burning."
"Please call the fire department."
"But there isn't a fire."
"Madam, if there is the smell of something burning then something is burning and if something is burning there is a fire and if there is a fire, you must call the fire department. Call 1912 for only electric problems."
"This is an electric problem. There is no fire. The burning smell is coming from the wire in the fuse box, which was burnt as a result of which I have no electricity."
"Is the wire burnt?"
"Yes."
"Or would you say it's singed?"
"Umm... it's melted."
"I thought you said it was burnt."
"Well, it was burnt and then it melted."
"Not singed?"
"Is this relevant? My fuse box has no wire, my house has no electricity."
"Madam, do not underestimate the power of words. Words gave us Bengal's first Nobel laureate."
on Wednesday, June 24th, 2009, 5:48 am in Electric Problems, Kolkata, Random › 
Email this
› 
Retweet
› 
Reddit this
› Link
› Reader links
I’m going to be sad if you made that line up.
That conversation is hilarious though I find it quite surprising that it was carried out in English in the first place knowing CESC and its officers’ complete lack of English language skills.
I think it is a translation
Yes, as KXB figured, it is a translation.
EM, with some people, the only thing you need is good note-taking speed; not an imagination.
My dad would often joke that trying to withdraw cash from a teller in Calcutta in the 1970s was a series of 20 question - “What is coming up that you need to withdraw so much money for? Couldn’t you find a cheaper store to shop in? Shouldn’t you save your money?” Granted, he probably embellished a bit. But I guess there was a kernel of truth.
Please, anonandon, do consider posting the original (in Latin transliteration) - at least the funniest parts, or at the very least, the exchange that leads to the Nobel Laureate reference.
Conversation with Indian Airlines aunty at Bangalore airport, 2005:
“You are late sir. Check-in closes 45 minutes before departure”
“But it is only just 7:15. Can’t you please check me in?”
“Late is late. Even if it is by a few minutes”
“But madam, there is no line at security. I am sure I can make it to the gate on time”
“It is not a question of boarding the plane. This is a matter of punctuality.”
(slightly stunned) “I am sorry madam”
“Why were you late?”
“It took me too long to pack”
“What? You started packing only this morning? Why didn’t you pack last night?”
“I am sorry madam. Next time I will pack the night before. Can you please check me in now?”
“No, you have to wait for the next flight. It leaves at 10:30.”
“But Madam I will miss my connecting flight from Mumbai. I need to go home for my wedding”
(swinging into action) “You are going for your wedding and you are late! What kind of irresponsible boy are you? Why didn’t you pack last night?” Then loudly, so the entire airport can hear, “Rukmini, this boy is going to get married. Can you make him a manual boarding card? No, he is late because he packed only this morning. You know how young people are these days. Can you ask Ramesh sir if a manual card is okay? No, no, this is an emergency.”
“Thank you madam”
“Go, go now. And don’t be irresponsible like this again”
“Never again madam. Thank you!”
” And good luck for your wedding.”
Indian Airlines Aunties have been nothing but kind to me. I find them to be more efficient (eg in distributing meals) and more tactful than any other stewardesses on international flights.
That was a cute episode, thanks.
Another fan of IA/AI ladies here. The airlines balance it out by hiring world-class fuckups for ground crew.
I am especially a fan of the cool shiny saris tat the IA/AI ladies wear and the tight buns stretched back from the forehead. they just look really cool and elegant. the new kingfisher airline ladies look really tacky in the gulmohur red polyester. plus, the attire is not flattering to the desi form (flat butt and radish legs). plus the heels make them lean to the front which is very inelegant.
but to get back to anondi’s musings - i have to say - bengali or not, they have relatively well-read call centre agents out there in bengal. no wonder these guys strike so much. it is the peeps who dont know their rights who keep slogging away at the yoke.
I can totally see that happening in Kolkata airport. My mother once managed to take in 15kg extra by saying it was for her only daughter’s wedding. =D
EI – “Ei ekkhana shobdo niye torko korey ki kono laabh aachhey? Amader fuse box-ey kono tar nei ebong shara baaritey power nei.”
“Madam, shobdo-ke tachchhilya korbenna. Shobder jorei to Paschim Bongo tar prothom Nobel prize peyechhilo.”
Ray movie quality dialogue. Thanks for transcribing!
BRILLIANT! I’m home sick today and angry at another post on another website and then I see this and my day is bright again. :)