Monday, June 7

Exit stage left

Folks, I’m dissolving this merry band of blog travelers here at Ultrabrown. We’ve had a great four-year run.

I’ve found the blog is highly distracting from the day job (tech startups). It feels like leaving IM open all day– an erudite, fascinating chat room, but one pulling constantly at my easily distracted brain. I’d also like to channel this creative energy, nearly a million words from ‘00 to ‘10, into finishing my first novel. Cranking down the posting frequency didn’t really work, as blogging seems to use the same creative muscle.

If you use Twitter, do follow me at @Manish_Vij. I may return to writing at Vij.com after the book is done. Also check out my co-bloggers’ work at their respective sites:

I remain a huge fan of their work and am deeply grateful to them for letting me share it with a wider audience. Many weeks I’ve been blissful about the salon we’ve run. It’s been one of the best South Asian literature and arts blogs out, in my humble opinion. And as readers, y’all have been fabulous. I’ve learned incredible things from you. Thank you.

· · · · ·

Who would’ve guessed six years ago that an awkward, skinny brown man would become governor of a Southern state, or that another awkward, skinny brown man would host a major awards show and land a three-picture deal; that a brown woman could well become the second desi American governor; that a woman who didn’t look like a model could become a force on The Office; that one summer, desis would feature in the top book, movie and TV show in America; or that we’d have a biracial president by 2009?

My fondest wish with all desi blogs is that they eventually no longer need to exist, because their topics are well-covered in the mainstream, and issues of racism, stereotyping and prejudice reduced to vestigial rumps. We’re a long way from that goal, but a good deal closer than when I started on this trip, working on a black-and-white zine called Hum (Us) in 1994.

I always thought our community would eventually be as integrated as desis in Canada and the UK, where you can’t turn a channel without running into a brown anchor. I didn’t foresee it happening this quickly. For all the ways in which America remains deeply tribal, it is also beautifully and pragmatically open to an Aziz Ansari or a Nikki Haley in a way that few other countries seem to be. One grew up Muslim, the other Sikh; Aziz strutted around in a white tuxedo last night and never even bothered with a stage name.

My father’s tech generation often Anglicized their goodnames, started their own businesses because they couldn’t get promoted, and were forced to hire white CEOs anyway because nobody would buy from a desi. And now the former PM of Britain is asking Vinod Khosla for a job. Mindblowing.

Can’t wait to see what happens next. I’m making popcorn.

· · · · ·

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  1. 1Amitabh

    Have really enjoyed this site. Thanks and good luck.

  2. 2Pramod Patel

    I have enjoyed your postings tremendously. Thank you for sourcing and posting great articles with apropos commentary from you.

  3. 3khoofi

    aww man! les singhadas and all that gas.
    :-(
    but godspeed and white knuckles on your new ride. never get bored.

  4. 4Pagal_Aadmi_for_debauchery

    Manish: You will be missed! Great job here and at Sepia Mutiny before. I think your news aggregation sidebar is the best in the business. To be honest, whenever there is a racial issue, involving desis, the first thing I look forward to is a top notch analysis/mocking post from you.
    Thanks for all the free posts!
    Good luck.

  5. 5blackmamba

    You will be missed. It is a great site! Good luck and thanks for all the (brown) fish ;)

  6. 6Eej

    Manish,

    I am quite certainly talking for a lot of people that have had opinions shaped and points of view propped by Ultrabrown. It is a real shame to see something that is as important as you mention in your last post end this way. I am not sure if the circumstances forcing this curtain call are as simple as the demands on your time, which if it is, do you think can be offset by more community participation. I am happy to take on a more active role as I am told are some others based on the alarmed emails I have been getting today. The Desi diaspora have reached a critical mass where it is very likely that a south asian character will dilate into another demographic for an AT&T commercial but what Ultrabrown has done is provided a living document of that progression and things are only heating up now!

  7. 7TigerYogiji

    This was one of the few sites that I checked at least once a day every day. It will be missed… :(

  8. 8Rahul

    Manish, thanks for this blog. It’s always been fun to read, and I’m glad I got to meet you as a result of the blog.

    And good luck with your million (minus 1, now) simultaneous endeavors!

  9. 9educate me

    i’m gonna miss you! so long and thanks for all the fish.

  10. 10Kaushik M

    Thanks Manish and the UB team. You always had engaging and cool stuff to read every morning. Thanks too for supporting desi musicians/producers. ‘ll be following you guys on Twitter and wherever else you might be. Good luck! - Kaushik

  11. 11Sandeep Sood

    You’ve been my favorite South Asian voice for 6 years, but the timing couldn’t be more perfect. It’s like you were watching Aziz host the movie awards last night, thinking to yourself, “my work here is done.”

    Thanks Manish.

    I’m gonna miss the blogging, but I’m looking forward to the book!

  12. 12Maitri

    Noooooo, but I understand! Even if I didn’t comment a lot, I read you guys everyday. Thanks for the posts and looking forward to the book!

  13. 13digitalheer

    NOOOOO! It can’t be! *torr’ing all my churiya, flailing body every-which-way*

    I too loved this site, even if I was mainly a lurker. I’ll miss it!

  14. 14Saheli

    Dammit, Manish, at least keep the twitter feed alive!

    .
    :’(

    Sad, but glad you have projects that merit the change. Really looking forward to reading that novel!

  15. 15KXB

    I can understand the decision. You have done a hell of a job with this blog. Good luck on your future projects.

  16. 16Darth Paul

    I understand, but I don’t ahve to like it.

  17. 17Mr. X

    Considering the amount of work that went into your blog, I’m surprised (and happy) it lasted this long. Look forward to your book. Desi cubicle drones will miss you.

  18. 18musical

    Thank you, Manish, for UB and wish you the very best! Look forward to your novel. Your posts will be missed much but I am sure that the book is going to more than make up for it :).

  19. 19Screen Sifar

    sigh!

  20. 20Not Really Tina

    Never commented before, but always enjoyed this blog and it’s take on topics, whether light-hearted or deep. Will miss it! Best of luck to all of you in your future endeavors :)

  21. 21khoofi w/ the last hurrah

    so long*

    *that’s what she said.

  22. 22Nina Paley

    I thank you for all the blogging you’ve done. “Sita Sings the Blues” thanks you too.

    I like to think we’re not losing a blogger, but gaining a novelist!

  23. 23RCola

    UB’s absence will be felt. Hope you get to come back to this in the future, as your posts are both resonant & enlightening. Thank you.

  24. 24manish vij

    Thanks for the love, everyone! Hope you had fun here. I learned a hell of a lot from the links you mindsluts swapped so promiscuously.

    Met lots of great people this way, some who are good friends today. It’s been a great ride.

    @Eej: I’m sure some brilliant young thing will do a site (Twitter feed? New form of media?) that’s much, much better. Would love to read it rather than hosting it next time around.

    @Sandeep: Precisely. That was part of it :)

    @Khoof: How have we never managed to be at the same meetup yet? This is like when I first met Abhi after leaving SM.

    @Blackmamba: Great memory :)

    @Rahul, EducateMe, Maitri, Saheli, Nina: See you on the geek blogs.

    @Mr. X, KXB, Darth, Musical: How will I recognize you when I pass you in the street? You’ll be wearing an Apu button ironically?

    @Kaushik, Paagal: Someone’s been goofing off here as long as I have ;)

    @Lurkers: I don’t know why you say goodbye / I say hello.

    Oh man, this feels like a breakup plus a yearbook signing. Admit it y’all, it was a good party!

  25. 25sakshi

    Ultrabrown is/was my favorite desi blog. So sad to see it go. All the best, Manish.

  26. 26Arpita

    I will miss this blog, was the first thing I read every morning. Good Luck to you all!!

  27. 27Arun Paul

    Really going to miss you…thanks for the wonderful ride…it just won’t be the same without you..sob sob…

  28. 28tambram

    Damn, am gonna miss the site and the newsbar!

    Good luck!

  29. 29ashvin

    In addition to what the others said; i like your aesthetic sense and the general visual experience of reading this blog — colors, images, font size, ratio of width of columns etc.. Good luck with your new endeavors yaar..

  30. 30cicatrix

    I don’t believe it. Phillygrrl told me you were shutting this down hours ago…and I still don’t believe it. You are the most internet-connected person I know. Like, you live on two planes simultaneously, the internet and RL. Or you’ve fused the two. Or something.

    Anyway, don’t believe it. You’ll have another site soon. I say the over/under is 6 months. Any takers?

    You do know how to deliver news with a hell of a bang though. Wow. I’m getting flashbacks to when you left sepiamutiny. Still feel sniffly and traumatized thinking about it.

  31. 31Rohin

    I feel rather an impostor on that list, considering my contribution to this fine blog has been so pathetic (perhaps that’s the reason it remained so fine).

    Manish you have always been my window into this world. From my student days at Sepia Mutiny I’ve always kept up with your opinions and interests despite my own writing and enthusiasm waning. This became the only desi website I persisted to read and has been so for a few years now. I checked it more regularly than websites I helped found. I await your book and hope to meet up with you again soon. I’ll be a little lost without UB and frankly a little less brown.

    Stay in touch.

  32. 32Rohin

    Except the cricket is boring post, that was tripe.

  33. 33Shruti

    Noooooooooo! Very sad to see you go. You were my favorite on Sepia Mutiny and I was so happy to see you start up Ultrabrown after leaving that. I hope there are greener pastures for you beyond this blog, but you will be missed :(

  34. 34Hurricane

    I’m really sad to see this post! Still in shock. This was the ONLY desi blog I checked daily, there is nothing out there that matches :(

    UB will be greatly missed.

  35. 35umber desi

    Good luck with whatever you do next, I have enjoyed reading this site a lot.

  36. 36KXB

    Mr. X, KXB, Darth, Musical: How will I recognize you when I pass you in the street? You’ll be wearing an Apu button ironically?

    James Gordon Jr.: Why’s he running, Dad?
    Lt. James Gordon: Because we have to chase him.
    James Gordon Jr.: He didn’t do anything wrong.
    Lt. James Gordon: Because he’s the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So we’ll hunt him because he can take it. Because he’s not our hero. He’s a silent guardian, a watchful protector. A dark knight.

    My self-pretension aside, one of the attractions of blogging is that no one has to know what you look like.

  37. 37tina

    Oh no! This is awful news, UB was my daily fix, this blog will be so missed! :-(

  38. 38a traveller

    Never commented here before, but loved this blog - every post was a gem. Will be missed.

  39. 39anantha

    Godspeed Manish :)

    I’ve been a silent reader mostly, but a regular one nevertheless. Shall miss this blog.

  40. 40justme

    For a minute I thought I was reading comments from this SAJA post last year, one-year delayed, bouncing back from the bit bucket black hole at the center of the galaxy, misdirected into the wrong blog.

    But yikes, it’s this year, and this is UB, and you’re leaving, and everybody is saying goodbye. I can hardly believe it. Manish, I knew you from even before Hum - remember a.c.us.a-i, started 1992? And even before that, there was s.c.i-a. Like, almost two decades. So its the end of an era all right.

    When I discovered ultrabrown sometime in the summer of 2007, it did take a few visits, but I was hooked. Apologies to the many excellent bloggers we have here - who I never entirely ignored (emphasis entirely) but for me ultrabrown was mostly the newstab and the comment feed, my daily hourly fix.

    I say ‘for me’, but of course, I mean ‘for us’. Because while I was justme, I was also all of us, or all of us were me, or I was them, or sometimes I was all of us, but never more than one of us at the same time. Whatever. You get it. For everyone who guessed or vaguely suspected this, congratulations. For everyone else, please know that it was a lot of fun, but it was only the fun that was had, never you. And like all good things, this has to end too. So here goes:

    ShoelessJoe, PPP, PakAllGirlBand, water, debonair ex-mumbaikar, NextSteps, TheOtherPOV, Equal-Equal, Transparency, Present-Indicative, SalamNamaste, Elite-Irony, and yes, Chachaji.

    Good luck, Manish. Perhaps we’ll run into each other some day in the Valley. Maybe I’ll even read your novel :)

  41. 41desiderata

    Nooo! You officially suck.

  42. 42Neale

    Now, i’ll have to watch the NBA finals .

    All the best Manish.

  43. 43Pavani

    Thanks for everything, including these final links. I missed that staggering post the first time. Reading it reminded me of subscribing to Hum as a student and wondering about what happened when it stopped. Like so many others, I’ll be waiting for your future work.

  44. 44Pravin

    While I post comments more often in SepiaMutiny, I read this blog just as much. I think I posted here under names like Pradeep and Praveen.
    In any case, this was a fun breezy blog to read. It’s sad to see this go. Hopefully, something will take this place. When does the URL actually expire?

  45. 45Vanya

    :( Like for many others, UB was my favorite Desi blog. I’ve really enjoyed reading your posts (and their equally creative titles) for the last 4 years. Can’t wait for the book to come out now!

    Good luck with everything! (Secretly hoping you relapse and return to blogging soon.)

  46. 46abhimehr

    No man! Don’t do it. I will take infrequent posts to no posts any day. Waiting eagerly for the book…. best wishes.
    -@

  47. 47MzBlah

    :-( Loved the site!
    Thanks for the forum!
    All good wishes!

  48. 48midnight_toker

    Oh, thats all very well to shut down the blog because you want to write novels . How, exactly, am I expected to serve out my cubicle sentence without it ?.

    ;-)

    good luck, hope to say hello on the west coast someday !!

  49. 49DJ Drrrty Poonjabi

    I’m currently crying my eyes out and am in no state to make a coherent statement, but dammit Manish, you really know how to break a girl’s heart.

  50. 50neelakshi

    Hah, coincidences abound. I had a crazy premonition this would happen which is why I logged on today. Good luck Manish with that book. Hopefully I’ll meet you at the book signing. Needless to say I’ve really enjoyed your blog. Big thankyou. But where is everyone going to hang out now?

  51. 51vv_varaiya

    Manish,

    You’ve done a fantastic job running this blog. I knew someday this day would come, but best wishes on your book. Can I suggest a last hurrah meetup? I owe you a drink or two. Looking forward to your novel, my friend.

    vv

  52. 52juice

    sad news Manish. thanks for the solid writing and for being a daily respite during my work lunchtime. this had better be one hell of a novel you’re writing.

  53. 53Filmiholic

    Manish,

    So sad to see this conversation stop, and very much looking forward to the novel.

    One burning question….will you be leaving Ultrabrown up, so that folks can go back to some of the posts they may have missed, or may want to see again?

    Maria

  54. 54RC

    I am going to miss Ultrabrown, which was one of my favorite stops on the web.
    All the best in your forthcoming projects.

  55. 55Cliffy

    Good luck and Godspeed Manish. Really enjoyed your insights on various issues and non-issues.

    Take care and will see you again sometime, somewhere in this cyberspace.

    Cliff

  56. 56bess

    Exit Stage Left. Is that a Rush reference? So riding off in your red barchetta are you? You modern day warrior,you’re today’s Tom Sawyer…on a train to Bangkok and you choose Freewill.

    Manish, no one can match your prolificacy and Twitter is not big enough for you so good luck with that book. I want to see you on Bill Maher one day.

  57. 57sui_generis

    Manish,

    You will be missed, and here’s hoping the novel has the depth, feeling, scope, joy and wit of the Ultrabrown blog. I’ve known you a long time, from UCB to a.c.us.a-i. When I found you again in Cyberspace it was a thrill which will only be matched when I see that novel at Barnes & Noble.

    Manish’s place in Cyberspace
    Will it vanish without a trace?

  58. 58Old School

    Will miss your blog. It became a habit.

  59. 59bob

    thanks Manish and company,

    UB became my favourite desi blog. I loved many of the great stories told here. a million thanks from up here in Canuckistan

  60. 60UberMetroMallu

    Good luck with everything, Manish. Spending time at UB was always a pleasure. I’ll keep an eye out for your book. Promise me you’ll call it, Mangoes of an Indian Summer!

    Cheers

  61. 61Anupama

    I’ve never commented but have been a faithful follower for about 3yrs now and have had lively discussions with like-minded friends over the daily staple of information that has been your blog. The blog has been my one stop shop for all things desi, non-desi and/or funny. You and your blogger cronies will be missed fo sho! Good luck.

  62. 62Chee

    Manish,

    Thanks for all your insight, work, and the space you’ve created.

    Looking forward to seeing your work in another form.

    -Chee

  63. 63Cliffy

    Manish,

    How about an encore? write something really controversial………like maybe your take on the Flotilla?

  64. 64Shark

    This is sad.. this was definitely my favorite blog.. SM tends to be arrogant at times.. This long time lurker thanks you for all the nice posts!

  65. 65ShallowThinker

    I started reading Sepia Mutiny and this blog years ago because I wanted to get closer to what was going on in the Indian community in America and because I didnt have that many Indian friends I always felt like something was missing. This blog and Sepia Mutiny have filled a hole in my heart when it comes to things concerning Indians in America by providing so much info on what is in our world.

    Thanks man and good luck with everything.

  66. 66Nilesh

    This truly has been a great blog and I will miss it.
    I do look forward to your book.. wish you good luck with whatever you choose to apply your creative muscle to.
    See you around..

  67. 67rasudha

    Thanks for this great site! I got into the habit of checking it everyday. What a loss for me! Good luck with everything Manish.

  68. 68Anu

    UB will be missed. But I guess when it’s time, it’s time.

  69. 69manish vij

    Feeling very loved y’all, and over email too. Way better than Tuesday, when it felt like someone died.

    I’m hoping someone will carry the group arts blog banner forward sooner rather than later. Here’s an honest title: The Grand Timepass Conspiracy :) Would love to be a guest next time, way less work. But there are no guarantees. A friend used to host beautifully-thought-out parties before she became a mom, a real community service. No one’s stepped up since.

    It’s great seeing names from back in the day, and elaborate identity unmaskings like justme’s. (Writing all your aliases in StartupCase was a tipoff!)

    There are still a handful I’m suspecting will stumble upon this post a month or two from now. I think I know what nickname Joolz used to go by, for example.

    Filmi, I’m porting the site to a cheaper Web host as we speak. Bit of a pain, but let’s keep the collected knowledge up awhile. URL’s good for another year already.

    Cicatrix, every word on Twitter (and I’ve already started, can’t help myself) is a word less in the novel ;)

    Bess, more Billy Shakes. But my college buddy Birjinder Anant was the greatest Rush fan I ever knew.

    KXB, keep shining the Apu signal.

    E-I and Sui, what did you go by in Usenet (and Cal) days?

    Uber, Anuvab’s character Maya Roy writes a leftist mango novel about starving midgets.

    ShallowThinker, I’m so glad you found some like minds. There’s no better feeling.

  70. 70JayV

    I followed you here from Sepia and will miss your take on life and all things brown.

    Happy trails!

    Jay V

  71. 71Joolz

    Manish, I am very sad to see you go. Thanks for the last four years. I found you to be a great place to visit, not just because of your blogs, but because of the cultural news that was posted here. God bless you and good luck.

  72. 72Joolz

    No, seriously, god damn it. This place was great. Straight up, one of my few daily internet reads. The desi diaspora really needs its own space in terms of culture and arts and other experiences, a place to register these things, away from the febrile atmosphere of some other sites.

    One thing I love is how fluid our diaspora is. A desi born and raised in London England, becomes Jay Sean and becomes a superstar in America, and to American desis, he is their own homeboy. Aziz Ansari or Jhumpa Lahiri or Kal Penn achieve success in America and to British desis, they feel like one of them. Russell Peters speaks to British-Indians as much as to Canadian Browns. M.I.A swaggers like us.

    Our anglosphere diaspora is so exciting, so fluid, so transnational, it is blooming, coming of age, producing great things, creatively, artistically, and in every sphere.

    We have so much to talk to each other about!

    We are like a lost tribe, emotionally bonded on some level, and the internet helped bring this into focus, and Manish, you played a really important part in creating this space. And things are only going to become more exciting, more interesting, with more and more beauty and strangeness and originality and achievment and swagger and creativity now and in the near future and the generations to come…….

    Man, I feel a tear coming to my eye.

  73. 73amreekandesi

    Manish, you will be much missed. I fell in love with ultrabrown a few years back, and it remained my daily lunchtime read for a long time.

    Hope to see you blogging again soon, and good luck with the book, and work.

  74. 74Joolz

    And I just read this and thought of Ultrabrown….

    Aziz Ansari, Mindy Kaling, and the Sudden Rise of Indians on TV by Nina Shen Rastogi

    http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/47740406.html

    Where am I going to share stuff like this now?

    *sigh*

  75. 75Gujjubhai

    I was struggling for words but Joolz (#72) said everything. By far the best blog I read every day. You will be missed, Vij. Can’t wait for the novel. Good luck!

  76. 76brown_dbd

    Will miss UB! Thanks for the good times Manish.

  77. 77Ritesh

    Manish, thanks for everything. For 4 years I have read your blog every day. You will be missed.

  78. 78Pai man

    So is evryone moving to Sepia?

  79. 79Jay Sean

    Yes. Great Blog.

    Peace
    Deep Lurker

  80. 80manish vij

    Thanks Jay, brown_dbd, Ritesh.

    Gujjubhai, I blush.

    Joolz, what will I do without your video clips? There’s so much talent out here, we just chronicled it. Let’s go out and make something instead.

    Wish there were a way, even if crowdsourced, to run a site without admin load. That’s not how it works, sadly.

    Btw, were you on Sepia from way back when? Won’t out you, but that is so cool :)

  81. 81khoofi

    this is so hard*

  82. 82sandhya

    I didn’t comment much but read often. Will miss this salon, but can appreciate the sentiment of cutting back to conserve energy. That’s been my persistent challenge with blogging of late. Can’t wait to read your novel.

  83. 83Joolz

    Btw, were you on Sepia from way back when? Won’t out you, but that is so cool :)

    I was ;-)

    That place is kind of dead now though. Its halcyon days were when you were there. I don’t even visit it anymore.

    Yes, lets make culture and not just chronicle it. Maybe when I get some time I’ll set up something that just brings good stuff together in a basic blog format. Until then, guys, take care, I don’t think I’ll miss y’all until after the World Cup finishes and I’m off that high! But the absence is already there.

    *melancholy smile*

  84. 84Nanda Kishore

    SM has sorely missed your sn(p)ark, Manish and even though I didn’t agree with you at times, it was always a pleasure to read UB.

    And thanks for bringin’ Jai Arjun on board, for some of us ‘DBD’s (god I hate those acronyms…). And anonandon too, although I thought her(?) review of Dev D was way off :)

    The thrill is gone, the thrill is gone baby…

  85. 85Nanda Kishore

    Joolz, just curious - you Amrikan? If you are, what’s the support for the US team like among desis over there? I’m pretty eargerly looking forward to them taking on England tomorrow… it’s amazing what a good side they have become.

  86. 86Joolz

    Joolz, just curious - you Amrikan?

    Nope ;)

  87. 87Gujjubhai

    I have been a lurker/reader of SepiaMutiny since pretty well the earliest days. Vij’s brilliantly witty and Anna’s straight-from-the-heart posts were the best part of that blog. That blog lost its mojo after Vij left and Anna cut down on her writing. Hardly find it worth visiting these days but for an occasional good post from Amardeep on literature every now and then.

  88. 88Nadiya

    Damn it, damn it, damn it. This has been one of my favorite blogs for a while now. You shall be sorely missed Manish, but good luck with whatever endeavour you choose to focus on for now.

  89. 89Msichana

    It’s been a pleasure Manish! I am looking forward to your future work!

  90. 90Rakesh

    Awww.

  91. 91MzBlah

    Have a feelng you’ll be back with the blog… soon!
    We’ll keep our eyes peeled!

  92. 92Giribala

    Best wishes, Manish! Looking forward to your book and your postings on Vij.com !

  93. 93Shruti

    I really miss this. Even though I didn’t comment as often as I used to, this place, more than any other, was my salon of kindred spirits. I was reorganizing my browser bookmarks and was about to put Ultrabrown on it — you know, cuz it’s always been there. And then I realized, nope, no more. There’s a void. Ugh :(

  94. 94sank

    good luck man!

  95. 95dbals

    Sorry to see you go. I read this blog everyday. Wish you luck in your endeavors.

  96. 96DJ Drrrty Poonjabi

    I’ve a had sentimental night, so please excuse the following:

    It’s taken two weeks to muster up the courage to say this and I’m sure that no one is going to read this, but here goes anyways: Manish, I love ya man. Weird, right?
    Not like some weird internet stalker thinks he loves you (I’m too self-obsessed for that) or a Shaadi.com user clicking on your profile for the first time loves you or even like how Mama Vij (a wonderful lady who I had the pleasure to meet once) loves you, but believe me, you stir up a certain warmth in the splintered cockles of my wooden heart. I know I was being a bit melodramatic with the whole “you’re breaking my heart” thing and that I get a little snarky when I don’t agree with you, but don’t let my Gabbar Singh exterior distract you from my Helen interior.

    I, as I had the pleasure of explaining to you a few years back, found your writing back in 2005, at a critical juncture in my journey into the search of self. Stumbling onto Sepia Mutiny was a watershed event in my forming of my identity: reading the naked pain of Anna’s memoirs and the wry wit and clever analysis of your opinon pieces (your brilliant takedown of Orientalist book covers stick out particularly in my mind) allowed me to relate to desis and desi culture for the first time really and prepared me to confront my own internalized self-hate. Suddenly, American Born Desis were more than just priviledged, monolithic, and uninspired outsiders. I started to see past the boundaries of Indian vs Pakistani, Hindu vs Muslim: not only did I not have white skin, but I was a part of the same struggle that all sepia-hued people faced, and I had chosen to be blind to that fact. Without you, I’d probably still be laughing at Peter Sellers, avoiding eye contact with anyone from the homeland, and thinking that I’m the only brownie out there who rawks out with his cawk out. (I’m not.) The love grew.

    I mourned you when you left SM and anxiously awaited every post when you were resurrected with this blog. I’ve learnt more desi trivia than I know what to do with, and I’m glad you lit a spark in me that enable me to return the favor. Who else provided a space where I could excitedly share that helium was first discovered in India? That some desi patented a wind-powered streetlight? How about my countless links about beards? Who am I going to talk about beards with now! Seeing that you decided, unceremoniously, to call quits was a bit of a punch to the gut. That love wasn’t so sure of itself anymore.

    But dude, I know that you haven’t disappeared, but that you’re moving on. You’ve got every right to. The last 4 years have been amazing. I can’t wait to read your book, but am saddened that your daily thoughts and passing obsessions will no longer be a part of my routine. I think the most telling part of your personality, and possibily the source of my boyish, internet love for you, is not only your brilliant voice but your inimitable modesty. You created an entire community around discussing talented and newsworthy desis and their impact in America, while minimizing how you yourself had irrevocably changed the game. We looked at the moon that your finger pointed to, forgetting that the pointer himself had as much of that celestial glow. You’re only real celebrity of note that Ultrabrown has had any connection to, and I now only wait for the rest of the world to catch up once you release your book.

    I feel priviledged that my little ditties were brown enough to receive the Ultrabrown treatment and join the roster of original desi beats. Thank you for dropping me some love, and I hope that this sloppy, sappy, and slightly embarrassing tribute will function as a sincere expression of my gratitude.

    Enough about me. A shoutout to the following voices who impacted me deeply that I only was able to be touched by via the Vij:

    Siddharta, DesiDancer, No Von Mises, Shruti, hairy_d/Khoofia, Mr Kobayashi, Currylingus, MoorNam (you’re a strange one), Portmanteau, Shodan, Cicatrix, ADS, Brimful, and others. Thank you too and I hope we meet again.

    PS Please keep the site going, at least for now. I’ve got more trivia! And what’s a macaca gotta do to get an Ultrabrown meetup up in this piece? What a better way to say goodbye than with a hello? I live like only three exits from you man! Call me!!!

    PPS A gentleman never asks and a lady never tells, but yes: I did experience Sepia Destiny…twice.

    Thanks for the all the fish,

    Drrrty Poonjabi