Jesus was a white guy, and other tall tales
In this Daily Show clip, Jon Stewart tells Iran not to be so sensitive over the drag queen Persian in 300, because Hollywood isn’t exactly sensitive to minorities. He plays a clip of Fisher Stevens in Short Circuit:
Of course, the Iranians have reason to be annoyed. The Persians looked like they were from sub-Saharan Africa. The historical king Xerxes is an eight-foot-tall drag queen in lipstick, plucked eyebrows and platform shoes who throws hissy fits when his makeup is smudged and when you refuse to kneel and submit to his divaness. (The Arcadian bottoms wear harnesses, and all the sex is doggy-style. 300 may just be the gayest movie in mainstream cinema.)
But the Greeks, the nominal protagonists, have even greater complaint. The only male actor who actually looked vaguely Greek, played a traitor. Every other male lead looked Anglo-Saxon or Nordic. This wholesale rewriting of history is casting revisionism. It’s like the blond, blue-eyed icons of Jesus as a ’70s hippie. It’s like The Last Samurai being a white guy who lectures the Japanese emperor on tradition, ‘doing Japan better than the Japanese.’
It’s like The Last King of Scotland telling the story of Uganda through the eyes of the very white Tumnus. The story begins with his graduation and ends with him jetting out of the benighted continent. There’s almost as much screen time devoted to a streaking scene as to the entire eviction of desis from Uganda.
Bollywood is hardly better. A story set in Korea hardly has any Koreans. From Bollywood we learn that whether Singapore, London or Toronto, everyone speaks English in a South African accent, and the local chief of police will always be Jackie Shroff.
Mark my words: someday Paul Walker will play The Last King of Ayodhya. Lakshman will be played by Keanu Reeves, and Sita by Jessica McCarthy in dazzy dukes. The magical circle of protection will be made of latex. The shape-shifting golden fawn will be a 45-year-old man pretending to be a woman on MySpace.
on Wednesday, March 21st, 2007, 9:39 am in Daily Show, Film, Humor, Issues, TV, Video clips › 
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“Mark my words: someday Paul Walker will play The Last King of Ayodhya. Lakshman will be played by Keanu Reeves, and Sita by Jessica McCarthy in dazzy dukes.”
Hasn’t this already started, since Keanu Reeves played the Buddha in “Little Buddha” all those years ago…
Also, France produced its own version of the Mahabharata in the early 1990s or so. I remember India Today had a full-length article on it, particularly since it had a very multi-national cast, but no desi actors. Maybe Monica Bellucci played Draupadi?
mallika sarabhai playued Draupadi. so much for your theory.
i am sure you Have staged producTions of tennessee williams and shakespeEAr in india - cant see you gEtting youR Jangiahs in a buNch about that.
iss an artiSTIic interPretattion. what’s the big dela?
Well, Keanu Reevs is 1/4th Asian so its not that bad.
Sure, The Last King of Scotland is just one big-budget film interp of Ugandan history among… *crickets*.
NotT history. EEntertainMEnt for the WhiTE audience… not for you.. noTT for mE. wHich is whY like s of nnnnNair, chaddah, shyaMAlan, RushdiE, KalPEN, matter bcose thEy are abOUTt meMypeoplemyface howeva skewed their respective perspectiVEs. I lllast sawW holllllywood movei in 2005. Fuckdacrap. you goTt money right? I do TOO. I makE it Count. suppport desI artistS howeVER crappppY they Are.
Ouch! my eyes hurt…