[Of a rival drug gang] ‘What are they?’

‘They’re Asian!’

‘What kind of Asian? Technically, Indians are Asian.’

I didn’t actually hear M.I.A.’s ‘Paper Planes’ being used in Pineapple Express, the latest from the Apatow comedy factory, though it’s all over the trailers. What I did catch was a whiff of self-satisfaction from everyone in the audience who paid only matinee for the weakest flick in the Apatovian stable. The first half is funny, the B-movie action tacked on. It inhabits a slackerland, neither bad enough to be camp nor good enough to be interesting. Bobby Lee from Mad TV plays a ninja-clad assault team member, but as a silent actor he’s completely wasted.

[On varieties of weed] ‘It’s like Blue Oyster met Afghan Kush and had a child… And their children fucked and had Pineapple Express.’

I suppose the point of a stoner flick isn’t to be, y’know, good, but this one made me miss Super Troopers. The best part about it, aside from inspired stoner patter, ’80s cars and hair, Seth Rogen’s leonine growl and James Franco throwing off his douchebag typecasting, is The Foot Fist Way star Danny McBride as a passive-aggressive marijuana middleman. That fight scene is a gem of physical comedy paired with dialogue out of Neil Simon. Just catch it on YouTube.

Previously: Coconut express